Unable....

Through cancer treatments I think its hard for people to say "i am unable to....." Today my mom informed me that my father no longer has a voice. The doctors have said that the likelyhood that it would return is little. My dad is exhausted and is starting to feel the real outward effects of sitting underneath a x-ray machine. He is getting sores in his mouth and the burns on his chest and back are getting worse. I want my father to live....really live....but I think that is hard when you feel so crappy!

I am really hoping that this round of treatment buys him more than just time. I hope it buys him an appreciation of life. Maybe he will go sky diving, commit to a family dinner, go on a family vacation with us, maybe just maybe he will plan something on his own....you know like a birthday party for my mom or he could call all of us and we could meet him for dinner.

Cause when you're going through radiation you are tired and hurting. You are okay with just burrowing yourself into a hole until its finished. But after the treatment and they tell you the results...good, bad, or ugly....you might as well live...don't you think?